happy happy happy

i just wanted to say that i love my husband. i really do believe there is someone out there for everyone and i know that i have found mine. he is truly the most amazing man i have ever met. without him, i dont know what i would do honestly. i can't live without him for one day. he fills my heart with so much joy and every day is something new with him. he keeps a smile on my face even when i didn't think that smile could happen. he is more than my husband. he is my best friend and soul mate. and i am so glad that i met him. he is my world, my everything, my life, my future. just everything. and i know that this is what life is all about. it doesnt matter where you work or how much money you make....all that matters is that you are living ur life in the best way possible and having someone to share that life with. i love u baby!!

LICENSE TO REPRODUCE

i have been running into a lot of nutjobs this past week. one in particular. i was driving down kansas and i saw a woman half dressed and smoking a cigarette. i wanna say first of all, i hate cigarettes. they killed both of my grandfathers and i am completely against them. well anyway this lady had on a very little shirt and she should put on clothes that fit her. and she was also wearing cut off shorts. very very short. she had a baby on her hip that was wearing nothing but a onesie. i believe this child did have socks on. at this point it was about 54 degrees out. this child was probably getting close to freezing if not already there. the woman was just walking and smoking without a care in the world. i couldn't believe my eyes. i had witnessed my fair share of crazies in this town but it never seizes to amaze me what these mothers are doing to their children. it is completely horrifying to me that they are allowed to do this. i mean, i understand it is their child and i am not a judgemental person but come on, put some type of clothing on your children plz. otherwise it is called neglect and abuse. i wouldn't know how to raise a child but i think i would have more common sense than that. it was just sad to see something like that. i think ppl should be examined for brain damage before having children. well certain ppl who are already suspicious enough. i hate that. aaaaagggghhh.

i luv patrick swayze!!!

patrick swayze was one of the best actors of our time. i grew up watching his films and watching my mother swoon over him all the time. he has been battling pancreatic cancer for the last 20 months. it really saddens me. he was good looking, a good actor and a very down to earth, good hearted man. im really sad. my thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends. he will be missed!

youtube $ the internet

there are some crazy things on youtube. its ridiculuous what some people will put out there for the world to see. its amazing to me that they look like fools and they put that video out. i think its funny really. but i was also thinking of the other videos, you know the ones where you have to confirm your birthday er whatever because its not for young kids? well how does the computer know that the person on the other end is not indeed just that? a young kid messing on the computer. these days anyone can lie about their age and make up a fake account with almost any website. my cousin was playing on there and he just got in big trouble. he signed up for an account with some hustler thing and took his dad's credit card and they ended up charging him like $200 for the things that he had did on the computer. that is crazy and i think he is like 14 or 15. what the heck? these kids have access to so much. it amazes me. its also very scary because you trust that ur kids wont do anything THAT stupid but you never know what they can do. im really starting to think that these companies dont even give a damn how old the person is. they just want some kind of money. its sad.

babies

so ive been thinking alot about children. everyone i know has kids. literally EVERYONE. all my friends. my family keeps reproducing. i think thats great. i love seeing babies everywhere. they are just so adorable. since i have been married, actually long before that, my husband and i have been wanting kids. i mean i want kids but my husband WANTS kids. like he cant wait. i know that i will have kids someday but i dont know if im ready for them. i need a little advice. im 21 and going to school. i graduate in may so im hoping that i wont be pregnant until after that. but right now it seems so far away and i do want a baby. but i just dont know if im ready for that. i just need someone to tell me it will be okay and go for it. but if thats not the right advice then im screwed right? what if i can't do it? what if i screw up my child's life? i mean i had a good childhood but my parents struggled and i dont want my kids to go through what i went through. i didn't have nice things like the rich kids in my school. actually my school had mostly kids like me. kids with single parents who had only what they needed. i want to give my children what they want and be a good mother. im just thinking some again. maybe someone can help me out.

stupid people

so recently, i got married. some people thought it was a bad move, like my so called friends. which im not saying that i give a shit but seriously, it is not their right to tell me i am stupid. i would like to know how i am so stupid for marrying the man i love. it doesn't make any sense to me. my wedding day was the happiest day of my life. now, im not being conceited but i think that those people are a little jealous of the life i have and the things i have in it. they shouldn't be jealous of me because every person is different and unique in their own way. but why should i be ridiculed for that uniqueness that i was born with. it is my God given right to do as i please. i just dont understand what the deal is with that. ya know? i wish certain people would just let go of my life and try to just be happy with theirs. i also recently lost something very dear to my heart. my pug, baron. we left our back fence open, BY ACCIDENT and he got away. now i know someone had to snatch him up because he wasn't out of the fence that long. we searched high and low for that little booger but its been a week and still no sign of our pug-nosed little boy. i hate that people would steal a dog. i know he was probably wandering around for a minute. but we noticed within 5 minutes. and he was wearing his collar. why cant i just have my little man back? i miss him. come home baron!! we love you!! (like he can read this)

my life

life is always so....whats the word im looking for? just crazy. i am always looking for new and exciting things to happen. i feel if something is not going on 24/7, it should be and then i question why isn't something going on? my life is not like those in the movies nor is it like on the reality tv. i wish there was a book of my life. that would be trippy. then when ur like 80 or 90 you can read that book and it will take you back. that would be really cool i think. i wish i would have thought of that sooner. i wonder how others would react to my book. what would i call it? my life? no, too cliche. my time here on earth? still not right. something about who i am as a person. it should represent who i am and what i am all about. i dont know what it would be called. im just thinking aloud. i wish there were more people who understood me though. thats for sure. i want them to know how i feel cuz sometimes it feels like nobody gives a damn.